Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Whack-A-Loon For Jesus

Sort of like Whack-A-Mole, but with Loons instead. Very rewarding, but messy.

They have all those medications that get in the way of good Whackings!

It is a good workout. I am thinking of starting a new workout routine called:


Just Whack and Whack until you lose those awful, ugly extra pounds!!!

OR, Just have your friends and family whack you mercilessly until you lose all sense of proportion and balance, then you won't care what you weigh.


Good God, what the hell am I thinking?

I can't tell everyone all my fantastic weight-loss techniques, or I will give away my


for no cash, check, or recompense of any kind!

- - - - -






CALL 800-MY-EBOLA for details today.

You've got nothing to lose but the weight, and your spleen!

- - - - -

Have you ever heard of Jose Yimenez? That's not my name, but I believe I know the guy. Have you heard of him?

- - - - -

  • Today
  • I
  • Think
  • We
  • Are
  • All
  • Crazy

- - - - -

The Constitution of the United States of America enumerates the Rights we all take for granted.

Very few Americans actually know what Rights we have provided to us in our Constitution.

This section of the goober blog is intended to give all Americans a refresher course on our inalienable Rights.

The United States Constitution includes many Amendments, and the first 10 Amendments are recognized as our Bill Of Rights.


  1. The Right Of The People To Talk Amongst Themselves, and Gossip, and Snark To One Another, And To Read Perez Hilton Will Not Be Abridged.
  2. Realtors Are Not There To Be Your Best Friend, They Just Want The Sale.
  3. The Right Of The People To Have Some Privacy While Looking At Entertainment Tonight, American Idol, Bloomberg and Internet Porn Shall Not Be Abridged.
  4. The People Shall Watch MTV Cribs At All Hours Of The Day And Night.
  5. The Right of The People To Eat Crap Junkfood and Drink Rockstar And Vodka While Talking Incessantly About Their Commitment To Healthy Living Shall Not Be Abridged, Even When They Sneak In To A Mcdonald's For Fries.
  6. All The People Shall Play Sunday Afternoon Quarterback And Second Guess The President And All His Minions In All Their Decisions From This Day Forward, Time Without End, Amen.
  7. The Right Of The People To Drive Giant Gas-Sucking Sport Utility Vehicles Shall Remain Sacrosanct For All Eternity, and Also The Right To Throw Away Copious Amounts Of Plastic Water Bottles, Disposable Diapers, And Other Non-Biodegradable Objects Which Shall Congregate In The Middle Area (Which Is Un-Navigable) Of The Pacific Ocean.
  8. Congress Shall Make No Law Made Respecting Any Religion Except Christianity, And All Other Religions Shall Be Suspect, Especially Mormonism and Islam. Catholicism and Judaism Shall Be Given Partial Pass, While Still Being A Little Suspect.
  9. A Well Regulated Militia, Being Necessary To The Security Of A Free State, The Right Of The People To Keep And Bear Automatic Weapons, Grenade Launchers, Napalm and Nuclear Warheads, Shall Not Be Infringed. The People Shall Copletely Forget The Part About "Well Regulated".
  10. The Right Of The People To Be Secure In Their Persons, Houses, Papers, And Effects, Against Unreasonable Searches And Seizures, Shall Not Be Violated, And No Warrants Shall Issue, But Upon Probable Cause, Supported By Oath Or Affirmation, And Particularly Describing The Place To Be Searched, And The Persons Or Things To Be Seized, Unless of Course The Phone Company Has Provided Phone Records To The Office Of Dick Cheney, Or You Have Looked At An Internet Site You Should Not Look At, In Which Case, You Are Royally Screwed.

- - - - -

What the hell?
What the hell?

What The HELL???

- - - - -

Wow, I am so happy that my country is on the path it is currently on.....................


Jesus God, What the hell are we thinking here?

- - - - -

Our problems will not end with a new Adminstration. We are going to have to monitor all our leaders for some time.

They are not doing what we need, they are just doing what they want.

Power begets power, Power craves Power, Power Corrupts, and Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.

We have to remember, the failures of the Republican Party will be emulated, copied in failures of the Democratic Party.

Just give them time.

- - - - -

I really feel that the quality of discourse, activity and conflict are far lower than they have ever been in the history of the United States.

There is a disturbing quality making itself more evident in American life. It is what I feel we should all be aware of, and careful to avoid.

It is the Coarsening of American Values.

Far too many people are now interested in only what they can get for themselves. And while this can be a good thing for a Capitalist economy, taken to extreme it leaves nothing for the country to build on, nothing for all of us to come together to support, nothing to share in the way 0f sacrifice, since no one is willing to sacrifice anything in this age anyway.

Our current Administration and Congress have asked us to sacrifice nothing for this war effort. This is far different from what was asked of the people in any previous war or military effort.

We have no sense of direction, no sense of shared effort, no common goal. And that is only one of the failed aspects of this effort, unfortunately.

We are all now only interested in what we can get for ourselves.

The Administration and the Congress are only out for themselves. They only work for their own narrow victories.

States are only interested in their own narrow victories, pushing to make their Primary Elections earlier, to affect the General Elections greater, to make their mark, with no thought of the reasoning behind all the election organization that exists today.

For some reason, when I heard and read about the States defying convention and party requirements, and pushing their Primaries earlier, I could only think of:

The Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire.

None of us is aware of the speed at which we are going down the drain of history.

- - - - -


You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Today, continued

Crap! Forgot my blog background color is so dark. I typed something in dark blue, and then accidentally somehow hit "Publish Post" and apparently cannot get back into a post to edit.

Yeah, that would destroy the integrity of the crappy writing or somesuch nonsense. Either that or I just don't know how to do that yet. Could be.

I can try to remember to preview, and not hit the wrong button...

Here is what I wrote at the end of the last post:



Jesus, I wonder what the real reason for religion could be if it's not crowd control and population control.

Religious wars have killed enough people to conserve enough resources to keep the rest of us alive a little longer.

I thought religion was the opiate of the masses, at least according to Marx or Engels or someone like that, but it's not anymore. Religion is nowhere near as much fun as an opiate should be. It is more like an electric dog collar or a cattle prod.

Join our church, where we all love one another, and we hate everyone who doesn't believe exactly the same things as we do, and where if you aren't in line constantly, we hit you with the Taser in the sensitive spots until you shape up, you little bastard.

Now television is the real opiate of the masses, and consumerism is a close second.

But what the hell do I care, let's go to the mall and then watch some monumentally stupid so-called "reality" show where everything is scripted at the reading level of a retarded basset hound.

- - - - -

I just worked out today. It feels really good. I can get into the endorphins and testosterone and all that other good free, legal stuff when I work out hard. It is completely worth it, believe me. It is easy to put it off, easy to get busy, but don'tlet that happen. You deserve the rewards that come from taking really good care of your booty. I mean body.

I'm a good example of the benefits of strenuous exercise and healthy diet. I just feel so much better than I did before I started a regular workout regimen.

I work out really hard, religiously, once a quarter, and I eat only salads and martinis. I make sure I always get the minimum daily allowance of illegal drugs, and I limit all risky behaviours to
only those times when I know I can get away with it.

- - - - -

I have a theory about time travel, and that is, does anybody really know what time it is anyway? And does anybody really care? I know I don't.

- - - -

I have another theory, slightly more serious.

I think that intimate relationships are always fraught (fraught I tell you!) with dangers, and they can be wearing on one or both (or all three or four or five) people involved.

But I think that in heterosexual relationships anyway (and what other kind does your God allow?) women usually end up getting worn down the most.

I believe that men wear down the women, that we even wear them out in some ways. We tire them out and we make them feel less alive and less vibrant and less resilient, and it begins to show.

Sometimes you can see a woman who looks worn down by the crap she has to put up with. Men often hand out a lot of crap to their partner.

But it takes years for it to really take its toll, and to really show in their faces.

When it does show, it is sad, disheartening, and a shame.

And then we leaver them and go looking for a woman that does not show that wear, that has more life, more spark, more vibrancy.

We are all attracted to life, and we want to be around those who seem to possess more of it.

We have worn down a woman who, because of what we have put her through, now looks less alive, and because we are tired of being around someone who looks so so much less alive, we go looking for someone else, someone who seems to have more spark in them.

We don't try to give that life back to the woman we drained of it, we just split and try to find a better replacement.

A few women wear down men, but more men subtly, slowly, a little at a time, destroy the women they are with.

Some of these couples die together, still married just becuase it is too much trouble to divorce, and too messy to kill each other.

Besides, they have the kids, and who wants to put the kids through that hell-hole?

My dad, for one (twice), and my uncle, and several friends, and some other relatives who I barely know, and millions of other Americans, and finally, myself.

Crapped all over the relationship, and the kids, because I could not stand being with my ex-wife, and didn't try to make it better, and saw that even though she was trying valiantly to break my spirit and shove me into the dirt, I was doing more damage to her.

If only God had been stronger in our marriage, I cold have gone to a foreign land and killed infidel unbelievers instead.

- - - - -

Would it be bad to say that I have friends who are gay, and friends who are not, and my gay friends are almost all cooler than my straight friends, but sometimes I think my gay friends just like me for my butt?

- - - - -

Always remember the words of General Douglas Macarthur, as he strode the shores of Iwo Jima and Tripoli, and the White Cliffs of Dover, waiting for the Japanese to bomb Stalingrad:

"The poop always rolls downhill."

No one ever figured out what it meant, because he was already going around the bend by that time, and he was actually standing in a fountain in Hackensack, New Jersey at the time.

- - - - -

My life is a charade, played out by Sheherezade. Or, maybe not.

- - - - -

Do we really need to be pushing out from out borders with money, men (and women0 and military action in support of ideals and plans that others around the world generally don't want to hear about?

What if we just decided to stay home for awhile?

What if we decided to not send any more troops to new places, and to maybe bring home at least some of the troops already out there in places that are not home?

I know this sounds selfish and a little like Pat Buchanan, but maybe we should work here, in our country, on our country's problems.

Maybe we should spend less money on foreign countries and foreign people who aren't really liking us all that much right now.

Maybe we can quit trying to be the great white missionaries to all the whole damn world, and work within our borders on problems that maybe all that money and time, if used here, could actually do some good for us. For all of us.

Why do we need to stop starvation, genocide, and ethnic cleansing?

I know, that sounds so heartless and cold, and I am usually the polar opposite of that, but for so long we have tried to force our way on others, and we have tried to save so many others, and out own country is looking at some really serious problems that we are not yet accepting or tyring to correct.

War, genocide, ethnic cleansing, starvation, are all problems brought on by governments or factions within those countries.

I know this sounds simplistic, but if they can't see those are minumentally stupid ideas, what makes us think we will have any real long term positive effect on them by forcing them to stop.

Maybe we let them kill each other, and yes, kill innocents, until they stop, and we put huge economic sanctions on them for 10 or 20 or 50 years, or until a change in government to a regime that denounces those kinds of lunacy.

Seriously, why waste our money, time, soldiers, and so much more when we still have starving, homeless, endangered people here in our country?

I'm a heartless bastard, but what about at least asking the questions? There is so much that we are in danger of losing, that we have to find ways to help our country before it gets really grim.

We are looking at the first time that anyone alive in our country, or anyone they ever knew in their lives, will see us become less powerful economically and possibly even militarily than some other country or countries.

There are those of us who think that is not a big deal, and a good lesson to learn, humbling and all that.

Ah, but grasshopper, you forget the lesson of the retarded asshole bully:

When he finds his power diminishing, he lashes out worse and worse, harming others even more in the fear that he will soon have no power.

Look at our current cowboys, and tell me you think we will be okay losing power in this world, and that we won't have idiotic leaders who cause us terrible loss in their last gasps, spasms of power grabbing.

If we don't strengthen ourselves, we or our children will live in a more dangerous world, until power is balanced again in some way, and before it balances, it could lead closer to more widespread, more serious, even nuclear, war.

And that would really ruin our day.

What does it all mean, anyway?

Wars are fought over treasure, resources, land, religion.

My God is tougher than your God.

What kind of buttface kills someone over disagreements regarding the exact name and teachings of their particular deity?

This is, of course, the main attribute of humanity since recorded time and likely even before that.

Many thousands of years ago, humans and pre-humans apparently fought more over food than over religion, but as soon as some lamebrain invented writing, and we had the ability to record stories regarding killing animals and having sex, we thought it would be a good idea to record stories about our God or Gods.

Immediately we spaced out the part of religion that told us not to kill, and we bent the rule to day we just can't kill those who agree with us.

Everyone else has to be saved, and if they won't let us save them, we have to kill them.

A curious equation:



So what the hell are we thinking anyway, as a species? Jesus God, are we idiots?

And actually, it's worse, since it is not only our religion that thinks and acts this way. If we don't convert or kill that guy who doesn't believe what we believe, this is what he thinks:




Saturday, October 13, 2007

And Now On To The Confusion...

So now we get into the real deal. What this blog is all about.

Life, the universe, and everything there is.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how people communicate, how people get along, how they agree, debate, fight, love, hate and kill each other.

And about why they do these things.

Why do we have to find reasons to argue, to have conflict, to go to war or to just be mean and difficult?

There is so much to enjoy, to be thankful for, to love.

I hope my kids are learning to be kind to others, even when they don't have to be, even when it's hard to be.

- - - - -

The sky was a gorgeous red, pink, margenta last night, just after the sun passed below the horizon.

The warm light glowed behind the tops of the hills, behind the contrast of the darkest blue shapes of the fir, maple, oak and alder trees, and faded up to the palest blue-white.

This place is often beautiful, but how many really notice it?

- - - - -

Last night, my son and I went to see "Across the Universe" at Bridgeport. It was not the best written story in the theaters right now, but it was fun, and the music was, of course, wonderful.

As if anyone who doesn't feel the same way about the Beatles music doesn't know what they are thinking. Maybe someone out there can't stand those songs, on a parallel universe, maybe, not this one.

Not all the songs are great, even to me, but most of them are.

Does it sound stupid or excessively emotional or melancholy or something to say I may have had a tear or two in my eye during the movie.

The story is okay, and the actors were decent, some known, some relatively unknown, even in lead roles, but the combination of the story, the music, and the backdrop of the conflict over the Vietnam War, race riots in Detroit and elsewhere, students taking over Columbia University was very effective and surprisingly powerful.

It all added up to a pretty good movie experience, and one my 12 year old son liked as well, but for much different reasons, as most of the historical stuff had to be explained to him, and he still didn't understand it that well.

It was moving and pretty wonderful, even with its faults.

Then we snuck into "Transformers".

He understood that one more than I did, but we both had a good time there as well.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Then there was just a lot of darkness...

Yes, I am still getting used to this process. And I am still awake, at about 12:39 am Pacific Standard Time. So let me get my feet under me and see how this goes.

I am obviously stalling because I am not quite sure where I want to go next. I guess to bed. Tomorrow sounds good to me.

In the beginning, there was darkness and confusion...

Hello world, nice to meet you.

It is really everyone else's world, I just try to figure out how it works.

Why do people do what they do, and what will they do next?

This blog will focus on whatever it is that needs to be focused on whenever I actually get around to writing something.

And in the meantime, I think I'll think about how to go after this beast.

I mean, you just can't start it without a preamble or an introduction, can you?

I thought not.