Today I had a tuna sandwich for lunch.
It was good, but it could have used more paprika.
I like birds.
My dog just farted. Smells unusually bad.
I really like the new season of Mad Men, because the colors are so much richer.
My girlfriend shat on a turtle!
I'm thinking of dying my hair. Not on my head, just the rest of my body.
Can anyone tell me where to find a good borscht in Taos?
I like birds.
Don't you hate it when a booger the size of a mango is stuck in your nose?
Take my word for it, seaweed isn't really like regular weed at all.
Animals seem to like me more than people. My neighbors dog keeps having sex with my leg. At least he's happy with his love life.
I hope no one ever makes fun of my crooked hiney-crack.
I'm thinking of becoming an inventor, if I can just figure out something that will make me rich and famous.
The highest purpose I can conceive of for my life is to spend all my time constantly writing about even the smallest details of what happens to me, what I hear about, and what goes through my head, and to post those random items on multiple web sites where other people will for some unknown reason actually take time read them, and then as a result of all that writing and reading, nothing will happen.
I like birds.
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