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Top 19 Reasons We Are Still At War In The Middle East

Who knows, really?
Everybody likes a bully
Not for the oil, but for all the things made with oil
Sometimes you just have to thin the herd
In the desert, no one can hear you die
Because we are a nation of Christians, filled with Jesus' love for all mankind
The military-industrial complex needed a few bucks, and they were bored
Radial tires run quieter than bias ply
To put the fear of the real God into Persia, Mesopotamia and Babylon
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder really livens up family barbecues
Hot Pockets are better with napalm
The universe likes winners
It's related to that whole Borat thing
Primo suntanning weather
Saddam and the Ayatollah used to bogart the weed and hog all the chicks at parties
There must be a capitalist use for all that sand
Because North Korea is still out to lunch
It takes a village
Two words: Global Climate Change

Top Ten Contradictory Positions & Policies - OxyMorons Unite!

Responsibility and Victimhood
Pro-Life and Pro-Death Penalty
Pro-Choice and Anti-Death Penalty
Hate The Paparazzi and Crave Publicity
Unbiased Journalism and 87.43% of The Media
Huge Corporate Losses and Huge CEO Paydays
Religion and Religious Abuse, Attacks, Torture, Killing, War
Huge Government Spending Increases and A Balanced Budget
Against Government Subsidies and For Government Subsidies That Benefit Me
Drugs, Sex & Rock 'n Roll As A Kid and Strict Evangelical Christian As A Parent
Save And Invest For Your Good And For The Good Of The Economy and American Consumer Culture