Saturday, April 12, 2008

Life Is Good In Oregon

Today it is sunny, clear and 80 degrees f.

Two weeks ago it snowed here, though only sticking at elevations of about 500 ft and above.

At least we have actual changing weather. I like the four distinct seasons.

But when it's sunny and warm here, it's pretty great.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Fun Work If You Can Get It

Fantastic Work!

More Good Work

Good Work


I don't understand why sometimes I can't format my blog posts.

Maybe the larger font screws up formatting?

Colors stay intact, but spacing between lines or paragraphs does not.

I end up having to go back and put a period or star or something in the line I want between lines of text to maintain the space.

Otherwise the lines are all pushed together with no spacing, making it harder to read and horrendously unsightly.

Plus I hate it.

- - -

And, HEY! Why can't I just pick Google Gadgets for my blog?

They are only available in html. that's why, and I don't know any of that language. Yet.

As Fat Bastard would say, in his inimitable rolling Scottish accent,

New Career Path

I think the Real Estate Seminar Business is a field in which I can show my true colors, spread my wings that are attached to my body with wax, and fly to the sun.

If ever there were a field suited to my particular combination of avarice, pusillanimousness, libidinousness, mental inflexibility and moral temerity, this is it!

I know there is a lot to learn, such as how to lie with a straight face, and how to get seminar attendees to pay in cash.

If past seminar experience is any guide, I must remember not to bring my ex-wife, or the speaker will hit on her all afternoon until the smoker break, then take her into the green room to show her his extremely big amortization tables.

I understand that sobriety among seminar speakers is more of a guideline than a rule. The more I learn, the more it suits my lifestyle.

A growing area is private seminars, focused on the particular learning needs of individual students, in a suite at the Hilton Gardens, with room service all day Saturday for $130 plus tips.

But to find real success, true inner happiness, and your own island, you have to either work as hard as Tony Robbins, be as good as Tony Robbins, or just snuff Tony Robbins and hope his wife doesn't notice the difference when you climb into the sack next to her.

That's my plan.

In fact, I think I have found the subject of my next seminar:

How Anyone Can...
Find Greatness Within,
Develop Greatness Without,
Or Just Kill Greatness And Get In Bed With Its Wife!

How To Be Uber Successful

Today we will learn how to be Uber Successful.

This seminar will give you all the tools to:

Make a Billion Dollars in Real Estate in Your Spare Time!

First, get a billion dollars. Then put it in real estate, and see what happens.

You'll probably have a lot of spare time already, so you shouldn't screw it up by working too hard.

And if you have that much time and money, you can afford to get my next book:

How To Kill Friends And Torture People For Fun And Profit!

It's really Uber good.

Only A Retard Blogs Without Getting Paid Big Bucks For It

What a strange land we have.

I guess I should have known...

I did hear something about fake bloggers, just like fake journalists supporting government programs and fake shoppers crowding into new stores, and fake bar and club hoppers jamming new joints, and fake pregnant women having fake babies...

Is there no truth, honesty, morality, chivalry, or density anymore?

Our civilization is quickly degenerating into a mass of hype, sound-bites, and half-off sales.

Maybe Osama was right, (not the terrorist Senator from Iraq, but the Saudi Arabian running for President while living in a cave somewhere in Illinois-istan) when he said, and I quote,

"Always take a litter bag in your car.
Then when it gets full, you can just throw it out the window."

I don't want to sound too immodest, but I first heard that saying thirty years ago, just before I was born, and I can tell you with full valor and indignity, I have lived by those inspiring words every day since then, for the last twenty-odd years of my too-brief, odd life.

And if you think about it, just think about it, maybe you should, too.

Pay Per Post? What A Deal!

Welcome To
PayPerPost University!
Today We Will Learn
How To Blog For Money,
Supporting Companies
You Don't Care About,
Who Sell Products You Don't Need!
Simply Get Online
Several Times Each Day
To Falsely Sing The Praises
Of Products And Services That
We All Know, Love And Use, Such As:

Good Design Is Its Own Reward

Friday, April 4, 2008


Scary Ones

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Okay, it's not Sunday, but it is the 40th Anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not one of our country's better moments

Hillary and McCain showed up
in Alabama to mark the event, Obama did not.

Hillary and McCain had to go because...they're white?

Anyway, also today...

George W. Bush met with Putin, the outgoing-not very-outgoing-not really-going-away premier or prime minister or dictator or whatever of Russia.

Bush told Putin that the two of them are just a couple of old warhorses about to step down.

Ever a master of the mixed metaphor, what he probably meant to say is that they are about to stand down, or maybe they will both be put down. Can't tell with this guy.

The housing market is in the toilet.

The job market has been pink-slipped.

And the government is up in arms over the Bear Stearns Bailout.

I don't see the problem, the investment bank guys need some help if they are going to keep buying $40 Million Dollar Apartments in Manhattan, and estates in Connecticut, and multiple jets to carry their multiple mistresses on shopping trips to Milan.

Please, give these guys a break. They are just as noble as any other hardworking stiff.

Doesn't EVERYBODY deserve a government bailout of their hedge fund business?

And so it goes...

Unidentified Substance

Not sure what this is, but the outside of the bag has on it a cartoon Cheetah wearing sunglasses.
Looks like a previously unknown virulent strain of bacteria.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Government Camp, Mt. Hood, Oregon, March 30, 2008, 7:30 am

Our family's Guvy house, 4,500 foot altitude, with about 14 feet of snow.

Gotta Get Me Some Of This...

Copyright 2008
Bradley L. Lawrence
So why would I stoop to copyrighting such a symbol?
Such an ideal for the human race?
Why wouldn't I just share it with all, in the hopes of actually bringing about real, meaningful change in our time?
Of course it's heartening and heart-warming, a dream for humanity,
and a worthy goal of all spiritually loving, kind individuals,
but I want to make money off the idea.
What do you think I am, some sort of Socialist?
Of even worse, a Communist?
Well, I'm not.
I'm just a normal average, every day
long-haired hippie-type pinko fag.
As far as you know.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

New News

Our Top Story Tonight:
Generalissimo Franscisco Franco
Is Still Dead!

Too Late For Tibet?

The Chinese authorities have been cracking down on protests in Tibet that began a little over two weeks ago.

China will not recognize the independence of Tibet.

The Dalai Lama has been for years urging China to remain as the ultimate political and military authority in Tibet, but to agree to let Tibetans have religious freedom and local authority.

China, true to its nature, does not see that as a path.

Since followers of the Dalai Lama are taught peaceful resistance to injustice, they can easily become very sympathetic figures, even symbols in this conflict.

But recently Chinese authorities have scored in the court of public opinion by obtaining video of more violent (or at least violent-appearing) protests in Tibet.

It doesn't matter if the protestors are really Tibetans, or followers of the Dalai Lama, it just matters that video shows people there throwing stones and lighting fires.

For China, this is a huge gift, as it helps them in their attempt to not be seen as trampling on peaceful demonstrators, but rather quieting riots and bringing order to the conflict.

That allows them to get away with a lot more:

More arrests,
More defiance of international opinion,
More censorship,
More imprisonment of anyone opposed to their rules.

Now, the Chinese authorities have come up with a brilliant plan, which is just the next logical step, one that anyone in their position and with their political leanings would soon arrive at:

Simply plant guns and explosives where protestors have been in the past, bring media when you go "expose your find" to the world, and accuse the protestors of planning "suicide attacks" against the innocent citizens and government of Tibet.

Once you show the weapons to the media, you can say whatever you want about plans you claim your spies overheard.

This strikes at the heart of so many in the West, who are afraid of more suicide attacks by the few extremist Islamic radicals out there.

This can create an equivalence in the mind of many Westerners between the Tibetan protestors and the extremist radicals of the Middle East.

This gives China cover to do what they want to the protestors, because we in the West will simply shake our heads, and say that China will just do what has to be done to keep their people safe, to maintain security... no matter the cost.

(Sounds like what we have said about our own government eavesdropping, Guantanamo, Abu Gharib, Iraq...)

At least that is what the Chinese government believes will happen.

And if they steamroller the protestors again, and continue to force Tibetans to bend to their every whim and will, and we all look on, almost sympathetic to the Chinese Communist Government... again... we will let other innocent people and ourselves down... again.